| Shortest distance between two jokes | A straight line |
| 6 Curses | 1 Hexahex |
| 2000 pounds of chinese soup | 1 Won Ton |
| Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier | 1 Machturtle |
| 8 Catfish | 1 Octo-puss |
| One half large intestine | 1 Semicolon |
| 10 to the minus 6th power Movie | 1 Microfilm |
| 1000 pains | 1 Megahertz |
| 1 Word | 1 Millipicture |
| 1 Sagan | Billions & Billions |
| 10 to the 12th power microphones | 1 Megaphone |
| 10 to the 6th power Bicycles | 2 megacycles |
| The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship | 1 Millihelen |
My 15 megabytes of fame